Skip to main content

So what's this blog all about?

I'm at the beginning of a new journey.

I setting off, literally and metaphorically, to find out What REALLY Matters.

Because I'm not entirely sure I know, not clearly anyway. Honestly I'm often quite unsure about what really matters to me. I'll think something matters one day only to find that it didn't ever really matter to me but rather mattered to someone else. On many occasions, I have found that I'd been made to think something matters by overblown corporate, social or political ideology and have suddenly realised that it really doesn't matter at all. And then there are the stickier things that I know matter, deep down, but I then realise that I don't live in a way that reflects that knowing - like saying that my health matters whilst working myself into a complete state of burnout.

Why now?

On the 11th November 2019, I went to the toilet and found I was bleeding. Nothing that unusual you might think - women bleed every month. But I was 8 weeks pregnant. Or rather, I wasn't.

The miscarriage itself was formally diagnosed 6 days later following five trips to A&E, excessive blood loss and several IV bags of fluid.

Months later, I'm still struggling with the impact of this experience. This is partly because I have been lucky. Until that moment, I had avoided any serious injury or illness and my nearest and dearest have been - by and large - pretty healthy. I'd never really had to face the reality of life and blood and death and dying. This experience was my wake up call to the simple fact that I - and everyone and everything I love - is going to die.

Of course I already knew that, but I had never felt it physically.

I wish with all my soul that this had never happened to me and yet, through all the horror, I am finding some sense of truth, clarity and focus.

It is time to redefine what I am working for in this life.
It is time to stop wasting time.
It is time to stop dreaming and get on with it.

I have always been full of dreams and ideas about "What I Want to Do With My Life" and some of them even came true. I've succeeded in school; I've succeeded in my career; I've performed and worked with talented artists, had wonderful colleagues and good friends; I'm privileged thanks to my race and my wealthy ancestors and yet  I'm still dissatisfied, hungry and unsettled.

And now I realise.

It's because I haven't worked out What Really Matters and when I have, I haven't built my life around those things. As you'll read, this is the really difficult bit because (as I'm finding out) modern life isn't really designed to allow us to find out and focus on What Really Matters. But what's a journey without struggle and conflict along the way!

So this is go-time : Finding What Really Matters and How to Design a Life around It.

I'll post sporadically and quite possibly forget about this blog entirely (particularly if I find that it doesn't really matter), but if you fancy being my travelling companion, follow this blog or comment below.

What do you think I might find on this adventure?
What really matters to you and does your life allow you to honour it?

See you on the road.

Abbie

Comments

  1. This is a thought-provoking post. I don't know if What Really Matters is a fixed thing throughout your life, and so it's worth soul searching and checking in with yourself to see where you're at and how your priorities are changing.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Abbie, what does indefinitely mean?"

A strange and sad day as schools around the country waved farewell to their students - children, teenagers and young adults who make up a huge part of our lives. Today I had to hold an assembly for Years 12,13 and 14 to say goodbye to most of them for the foreseeable. Many have elevated medical risks and for others, our amazing parents have freed up essential spaces within our now skeleton staffing system to allow the most vulnerable young people and key worker's children to stay in school. When I first said that schools would be closed on Monday, there were some who said "yesssss" and others who whooped. A few seemed a bit baffled. "School on Tuesday then?" said one lad. "No school on Tuesday." Friday then? But we'll be back before Easter? No? After Easter then? "Abbie," said one of the staff team, gesturing to a young man. "We were talking earlier and he was wondering if you could explain what 'indefinite' means....

What really matters? Toilet paper apparently.

Attempting to write a blog post about What Really Matters in a world where Coronavirus is less infectious than panic and dried white pasta is more important to people (when facing a bug that attacks the immune system) than tinned tomatoes, is a challenge. This virus is exposing SO MUCH about what really matters that it's a bit overwhelming to summarise any one part of it. So here's my first thought - how we engage as individuals with the story of this pandemic really matters. And I mean it REALLY MATTERS on a physical and tangible level.  Important uses for toilet paper #3212 The Telegraph recently encouraged us to say farewell to our elderly relatives as they enter some sort of socially isolated virus free zone. The BBC is updating us every few minutes about how many folk are being infected or dying from this novel virus. The infection rate turns into some sort of death toll as it greets our lizard brain-fight-or-flight anxiety hub and we are filled with the desire t...